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heart to heart

Monday, May 07, 2012

Pretending to have orgasm
When I don’t experience an orgasm during a sexual intercourse with my husband, should I tell him or should I pretend having an orgasm? Is there a way to ensure climaxing for myself?

It is absolutely not advisable to simulate or pretend an orgasm, but you should explain to your husband that you are OK with not climaxing once in a while as long as there is emotional intimacy. If you find it difficult to orgasm more often, then may be you need to explore different ways of foreplay and communicate to your husband about what pleasures you. With a satisfying and extended foreplay, it might be easier for you to experience orgasm. Moreover, adopting the female superior (woman-on-top) position also increases your chances of experiencing an orgasm. If none of these measures work, take a professional opinion to rule out any physiological causes.

Double dilemma
I am 21-year-old student. Two of my very good friends, both boys, have proposed me. I like both of them very much... I care for them..., but I don’t love them ‘romantically’. I don’t want both of them to get hurt; but I also don’t want to get hurt myself. What should I do? I am confused.

Open and honest communication is always the best way. Let both your friends know in no unclear terms, how much you value their friendship, but cannot reciprocate their feelings. I repeat, speak in very clear terms so that neither one of them continues to hope. This is definitely not going to be a pleasant experience for them, but nevertheless necessary. If they are mature, they will not hold your refusal against you. However, since from their side there has been a substantial emotional investment, it could take time for them to get over it. As far as you losing them as friends is concerned, I think it comes second. The choice should be theirs. If they feel they can re-establish just a friendship with you and be okay with it, that’s fine, but if they find it difficult to do the same, it would be cruel to insist that they be just friends with you for your comfort.

Also, to avoid a repetition of similar incidents in your life, do introspect and see whether there is anything in your behaviour with boys that could lead them to believe that you are interested in them romantically.

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Dr. Rajan B. Bhonsle, M.D. (Bom)
Consulting Sex Therapist & Counsellor
Dr. (Mrs.) Minnu R. Bhonsle, Ph.D.
Consulting Psychotherapist & Counsellor
Select Sun sign:
Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 20)
Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 20) Regular work activities continue to be a good source of income. This is a good time to follow up inquiries on new work proposals or meet people in the same connection. Investment in property or real estate will be favorable. You will be entertaining at home this evening. A secret or clandestine affair is in the offing.
Tarot for Love
Select Sun sign:
Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 20)
Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 20)What the cards say: Be stable and consistent Path: Take things one at a time. Don’t get hyper for nothing Ally: Earth signs of Taurus will stabilize your emotions. Avoid Cancer who could provoke your morbid imagination Card for the week: Tarot key no. XVIII The Moon. Creativity will flower and imagination leads to new ideas. Be practical
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