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heart to heart

Monday, March 05, 2012

Just be your normal self
I am a male, 41, married with two kids. Whenever I approach women for talking, either officially or otherwise, they look little disturbed (embarrassed) and adjust their saree over their blouse. This does not happen always but quite often. Does it mean that I ogle? This has created a perpetual problem now; whenever I talk to women, I tend to assume that I mean sex. This assumption is purely involuntary. Can I simply ignore this, or is something wrong? This, given the fact that many women in our country normally adjust their saree when a male approaches them – due to shyness or social taboo. Please advise.

Unfortunately a vast majority of Indian minds are plagued with sexual repression. And the way you think is the way you feel is the way you behave. Do not give too much importance to the behavior in question. If, as you say you do not have sex in your mind consciously, it should not concern you as to what they think about you. If you feel embarrassed then you are also becoming a victim of sexual repression. Just be your normal and natural self. Don’t let your normal human relating be affected by a man-woman divide.

Sex and the law
Nowadays a lot is spoken and written about sexual abuse. Does sexual abuse mean rape and intercourse or does it include just touching? Can one be punished by law for just touching?

Sexual abuse happens whenever a person’s sexual privacy is not respected. It is a verbal or physical behavior which has a significant sexual element, which is directed by one person towards another (of same or opposite gender), and which can significantly harm, upset, demean or injure the person towards whom it is directed. It ranges from sending sexual messages to actual penetrative intercourse. Inappropriate touching, fondling, watching, talking, or being forced to look at another person’s sex organs are all forms of sexual abuse. It can also be verbal, visual, audio, or any other form which forces a person to participate in unwanted sexual contact or attention. All forms of sexual abuse are crimes and punishable by law as per the “Indian Penal Code (1860)”.

l Heart To Heart Counselling Centre runs Certificate courses in Counselling & Sex Education at 10 Jerbai Baug, Byculla (E), Mumbai-27. Tel: 22184528 / 9821093902. Email: [email protected] www.hearttoheartindia.net

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I am a male, 41, married with two kids. Whenever
Dr. Rajan B. Bhonsle, M.D. (Bom)
Consulting Sex Therapist & Counsellor
Dr. (Mrs.) Minnu R. Bhonsle, Ph.D.
Consulting Psychotherapist & Counsellor
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