
‘I’ or ‘We’
I am 32-year-old and single. I want to know what are the main reasons for disputes after marriage?
There are many ‘issues’ that could come up in relationship. However, whether those issues become ‘disputes’ or are seen as ‘different views’ which can be discussed and worked through, depends on the foundation of the relationship. If the relationship continues to exist as only two ‘I’s, then there will be never-ending disputes. However, if the relationship exists as a separate entity ‘we’, which both partners equally nurture, then all issues are amicably resolved, and there is no cause for any dispute.
I am embarrassed!
My sex organ becomes hard very often nowadays and when I am outside the house I feel embarrassed. Why is this happening so often to me?
Normally the penis is soft and hangs down. During an erection, more blood flows into the penis than usual and less blood flows out. This makes the penis become larger and harder and it stands out from the body. An erect penis usually curves upwards slightly and it may curve to one side. All this is normal.
An erection can happen when the penis is touched or caressed, or when you are excited by a sexual thought or by the sight of someone you find sexually attractive. Rarely, erections can also be caused by anxiety and stress. It is also very common for boys to wake up with an erection in the morning. While you are asleep at night, your penis will probably become erect and then go down about five to seven times. This is completely normal and healthy.
Erections occur in males of all ages, including babies and old men. Sometimes boys worry that they are having too many erections. They are disturbed by very frequent erections in class, on the bus or when they are walking. Sometimes there seems to be an obvious reason for the erection. Maybe you are sitting next to someone you find attractive. At other times, however, erections may come for no reason at all.
Please do not worry. You are merely normal, healthy and full of hormones. It can be embarrassing if you get an erection in class or in a public place, but most of the time you are probably the only person who is aware of it.
Sometimes boys think that they must have sex to control these erections. This is not true! It is only a myth that some boys pass around as an excuse for having sex. Having erections is not a sign that you need to have sex.
l Heart To Heart Counselling Centre runs Certificate courses in Counselling & Sex Education at 10 Jerbai Baug, Byculla (E), Mumbai-27. Tel: 22184528 / 9821093902. Email: [email protected] www.hearttoheartindia.net