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Heart To Heart

Monday, February 26, 2018

G spot
What is G-Spot? My patients ask this question very often and I find no answer in medical books.

“G–Spot” is an area of increased sensitivity within the vagina, with maximum potential for sexual arousal. It is supposed to be located on the upper vaginal wall about two inches from the external vaginal opening.

G-spot got its name after it's discoverer Ernest Grafenberg a German gynaecologist in 1950. It has been described as a mass of tissue about the size of a small bean in the unstimulated state. If present, a woman will be able to pinpoint it by sliding her finger(s) with forward, backward or side-to-side movement. With increased and intense stimulation the tissue purportedly swells to the size of a mini ball and becomes firm. If the stimulation is continued she will climax.

There is not much information available about the G-spot simply because experts are unable to pinpoint and label the area, nor can they locate the nerves that trigger the response. The existence of this spot is also not accepted by many authorities.

Please note that the G-spot is more for academic discussion than for practical use.

There are conflicting results from studies done to locate the G-spot. Ladas, Perry and Whipper, authors of a book about the “G-spot”, state that examination of more than 400 women identified the G-spot in each one. But the studies at the Masters & Johnson Institute proved otherwise, where less than 10 percent of a sample of over 100 women who were carefully examined had an area of heightened sensitivity in the front wall of the vagina or a tissue mass that fit the various descriptions of this area. Another recent study by Alzate and Londono, also was unable to find evidence supporting the existence of the “G-spot”, although many of the women studied showed signs of erotic sensitivity in the front wall of the vagina. Thus, at present, it seems that much more research is needed to establish whether the “G-spot” exists as a distinct anatomical structure. The “spoon position” would be the best position for the stimulation of the front wall of the vagina where the G-spot is thought to be present.

Lost interest in sex after hysterectomy
I am a 48 years old woman. Three years back I have undergone hysterectomy operation. My ovaries are also removed. Doctor advised me to take hormone tablets (Premarin) for my life time. But after almost one and half years my family doctor advised me to stop taking that tablets as it may give some other problem. After that I have totally lost interest in sex and there is a guilty conscious in me as I am not able to satisfy my husband. In spite of taking medicine my BP is always high. There is mood swing also. Is there any connection between removing of ovaries and my other problem. So please advice me at this stage what can I do my best.

Ovaries produce female hormones (Estrogen and Progesterone). If the ovaries are surgically removed, it causes a rather abrupt “surgical menopause” as the female hormones are now not produced in your body.  It is due to this reason that your gynaecologist advised you to take hormone supplements. On the advise of your family doctor when you stopped taking the hormone tablets, you started producing menopausal symptoms which are inevitable for every menopausal woman due to withdrawal of female hormones. The loss of interest in sex, mood swings, fluctuating BP are the symptoms of menopause. Menopausal symptoms can be managed successfully with treatment. I advise you to consult a gynaecologist for the management of your menopausal symptoms.

Choice of life partner
My parents are pressuring me to get married to a guy they have chosen. But I don’t like the guy and find him creepy. But the problem is that they have been trying to find a match for me since last few months, none of which worked out. So they think if they let go of this guy, I will not find a better match, because he is educated, earns a lot of money and is well-settled. But the thing is I really don’t think he is my type. I have met him a couple of times and haven’t liked his thinking. What should I do?

You owe it to yourself, the guy and your parents that you are completely honest about how you feel about this match. Communicate to your parents that while you understand their concerns over your marriage, it is equally important that you do not merely marry out of a sense of guilt over their concerns. We are sure your parents do not want you to be unhappily married, or then have a broken marriage if things do not work. Communicating the same to them might help them see the light.

On your part, it is important that since you are open to an arranged match, you give yourself and the guy (this guy or any other guy) adequate opportunity to know each other before concluding about compatibility.  Today it is easy to communicate via e-mail in order to understand views of each other on various issues. It is only after sufficient communication on relevant matters that one can truly assess compatibility. If you have sufficient evidence to point out incompatibility with the present guy, share it with your parents in a mature way, and point out those areas where things could go wrong for both of you. If they truly care for your sustained happiness they will step back and look for a more compatible match.

Pretending orgasm
When I don’t experience an orgasm during a sexual intercourse with my husband, should I tell him or should I pretend an orgasm? Is there a way to ensure climaxing for myself?

It is absolutely not advisable to simulate or pretend an orgasm, but you should explain to your husband that you are OK with not climaxing once in a while as long as there is emotional intimacy. If you find it difficult to orgasm more often, then may be you need to explore different ways of foreplay and communicate to your husband about what pleasures you. With a satisfying and extended foreplay, it might be easier for you to experience orgasm. Moreover, adopting the female superior (woman-on-top) position also increases your chances of experiencing an orgasm. If none of these measures work, take a professional opinion to rule out any physiological causes.

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Dr. Rajan B. Bhonsle, M.D. (Bom)
Consulting Sex Therapist & Counsellor
Dr. (Mrs.) Minnu R. Bhonsle, Ph.D.
Consulting Psychotherapist & Counsellor
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