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Heart To Heart

Monday, February 12, 2018

What is pre-cum?
What exactly is pre-cum. If man’s pre-cum enters woman’s vagina, can she become pregnant with it? Does pre-cum contain sperms? Kindly clarify.

The pre-cum better known as ‘Pre-ejaculatory fluid’ comes from the “bulbo-urethral glands” located at the base of the penis shaft. It serves the purpose of lubrication during intercourse. Generally this fluid is not expected to have sperms. However, very often sperms are found to be present accidentally in the pre-cum, which can result in pregnancy.

A grieving process
I am 26 yrs, I got married 2 yrs ago and last year my wife had sex with another boy in her parents home, she's even carrying his child...I was a virgin b4 marriage & sexually weak at that time due to smoking, she was just the opposite. I trusted & loved her a lot, everything was cool till 1st year until she got pregnant & ran away. I feel very sad and even cry sometimes. I feel “Why me?” What should I do?

You are going through a grieving process, grieving the betrayal of trust. It is natural to feel angry and even very sad. The grieving process is in this order - shock and denial, anger, sadness and then finally the thought ‘what do I do now?’ So after you are over your sorrow, it is important to gather your emotions and look ahead. You have an entire life ahead of you and you have to take back control of it. With or without the relationship, life does go on, and beautifully too, if only you open yourself to it. Do see a sex counsellor and therapist if you feel there is any sexual weakness. You may be pleasantly surprised to know that any problem that you might have is easily rectifiable. So seek a consultation as soon as you can from a qualified sex therapist.

Difficulty with erection
I am married for eight years. my age is 35 and my wife is 30. since last one year i am facing problem of not getting proper erection.  is there any treatment for this trouble? can you advice some medicine for me?

Your condition is medically termed as erectile dysfunction. The treatment depends on the cause of your erectile dysfunction. There are many organic (physical) as well as psychogenic causes for this problem. If it is due to psychogenic or situational causes, the treatment will be ‘sex counselling’ and ‘supportive therapy’. If the cause is organic or constitutional, then appropriate medical or surgical measures will have to be undertaken. It is necessary to find out the cause (diagnosis) of this problem first, through history taking, physical examination and investigations. Once the cause is found, only then can the treatment be advised.

Importance of sex for a woman
What is the importance of sex for a woman in married life and normally how many times does a common woman (age 22 to 25) like to have sex in a week? Do they like bold husband or little bit of shy type of

Sex is as important for a woman as it is for a man, and also as enjoyable. But it is also important that there be more than just sex in the marriage. Romance and emotional intimacy is very important to a woman. When a woman feels emotionally connected she is aroused physically. The sexual appetite varies from person to person and the frequency of sexual intimacy should be mutually decided by both the partners. There is no fixed frequency, and even with the same partners the frequency varies during different phases of their life, depending on health, children, work, emotional intimacy etc. You ask about whether a woman prefers a bold or a shy man. I believe the answer would be neither. She would like a self-assured and confident man who is comfortable with his own sexuality.

All about condoms
I teach biology in college. My students often ask me questions about sex. Though I have no expertise on this subject, I try to answer as genuinely and scientifically correct as possible to my students. I wish to get all the important information about CONDOMS; as I feel it is necessary to enlighten young generation about condoms. Are condoms truly safe? Please explain in detail.

Condoms are called barrier methods of contraception (birth control) because they put up a barrier or block, which keeps the sperms from reaching the ovum. It is made of latex or polyurethane. Condoms are 86 to 98% efficacious at preventing pregnancy. One can buy them at a chemist shop. Always keep condoms in a cool, dry place. If you keep them in a hot place like a wallet, or glove compartment of a car, the latex breaks down, causing the condom to break or tear. The condom is to be worn only on an erect penis, and just before intromission. It is packed with its borders rolled up. It is to be unrolled over the erect penis, till it is fully opened and covering the erect penis. There is a small pocket at the tip of the condom. It is given for the semen to get collected after ejaculation. This pocket may be pinched to avoid trapping of air at the time of wearing the condom. Condoms can only be used once. When putting the condom on the erect penis one must avoid tearing the condom or putting a hole in it with sharp fingernails, a ring, or anything pointed and sharp.

You have asked ‘Are condoms truly safe?’ You are probably referring to ‘Reliability’ rather than safety. Safety refers to whether the condom usage will produce any ill effects to the users. In that sense the condom is safe except for those who are allergic to latex. Reliability refers to the fact whether condom usage prevents pregnancy and Sexually Transmitted infections. A person infected with HIV (or any other Sexually Transmitted Disease) or likely to be infected, should be aware that a condom cannot completely eliminate the risk of transmission of HIV/STDs to themselves or to others.

Heart To Heart Counselling Centre runs Certificate courses in Counselling & Sex Education at 10 Jerbai Baug, Byculla (E), Mumbai-27.
Tel: 23755866 / 9821093902.

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What exactly is pre-cum. If man’s pre-cum enters
Dr. Rajan B. Bhonsle, M.D. (Bom)
Consulting Sex Therapist & Counsellor
Dr. (Mrs.) Minnu R. Bhonsle, Ph.D.
Consulting Psychotherapist & Counsellor
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