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Heart To Heart

Monday, July 25, 2016

Can I take Viagra?
I am 29 years old married man.  I have one child 2 years old but now I have some sexual problems. I experience weakness in my penis and it becomes small and little bit tilted and quick to ejaculate. Please give me some useful suggestion and names of medicines for improvement. Can I take Viagra? Are there any side effects if I take Viagra?

You seem to be experiencing Erectile Dysfunction (ED) and/or Premature Ejaculation (PE). These complaints are more likely to be “psychogenic” in nature in your case; however, do consult a qualified sex therapist for investigations, examination and further help. Treatment varies from case to case. There is no common/standard or generalised treatment for such complaints.

Kindly do not take Viagra (Sildenafil Citrate) on your own. It could be harmful / dangerous!

You have also asked about a tilt in your penis. A mild to moderate tilt in a penis is a variation of normal that does not need any treatment. If the tilt causes pain or starts hampering the penetration during intercourse, only then it needs to be treated / corrected.

You have asked for the names of medicines. Before prescribing any medication, ethically it is necessary to examine and investigate each case to properly diagnose the underlying cause for these manifestations. It is the cause that needs to be treated and not just the symptoms. Moreover, it is beyond the scope of this question-answer column to prescribe any medication for your problems.

Aging and sex
I am 67 year old man and enjoy or do sex once or twice in a fortnight. After doing it my legs start paining and breath also very fast. Till to-date I do not have BP, Diabetes or any heart disease. Only my family doctor tells me that I am a patient of hyperacidity, fear and anxiety. Now I want your advice.

1. Upto what age sex can be enjoyed?

2. Is it harmful to my health and what will be side-effects to my health in my future life. After doing so I feel very much weak, so what medicine I should take? Sometimes I take multi-vitamin capsules.

One can enjoy sex till one desires and is capable of, with mutual consent. However, the aging process affects all aspects of life; that is why there is something like ‘retirement age’ when even the most capable person has to quit his job & position. Aging gradually restricts all physical functions and affects all corporal attributes. How can the ability to perform sexual intercourse be an exception? The muscular pains and exhaustion are a natural consequence of any physical exercise that is stretched beyond your natural physical capacity.  

A regular 40 minutes walk, balanced diet and adequate rest will help you to remain in good health and have a longer sex life.
Mature adult relationship
I am Male, 41, married, wife aged 35. We are married since 15 years. Our relationship is very good. We have sex every week with condom. She loves me and is dedicated to me. Recently, I am feeling the need for another woman. Is it natural at this age? Then, can I approach some woman say in age group of 21 to 35 for such mature Adult relationship? In this context I would like to know woman psychology. For such a proposal, an urban woman will give a positive response? Or. Is it risky to ask such a question? Can I ask? Pls advice!

After 15 years of a “very good” relationship you are expected to grow and mature together and explore deeper levels of love with each other. So no. It is not natural for a mature individual at this age to scout around for ‘variety entertainment’.  And those who do, are those who have chosen to live a life confined to auto-sexuality, self-pleasuring and biology.  

But a human being is not just confined to his biology. He has been gifted with “discrimination” and an innate capacity to grow in “love”, something that animals do not possess.  You have said that your wife loves you and is dedicated to you. No where have you mentioned that you love her and are dedicated to her. And that is the root of your problem.

When sex is an expression of love it is beautiful, if not, it is animal-like.

No self respecting urban woman would respond to your advances, and those who do are the auto-sexual ones for whom you are neither the first nor the last.

Your desire for other women is simply a ‘symptom’ of deeper issues. You seem to be dissatisfied with life at he age of 41. See a counsellor who will help you reach to the root of your problem.

God is always on time
I am handsome 5'7" male wheatish complexion, good well mannered sweet in nature, sexy, smart. I want to marry a girl of sweet nature. How should I find one of my choice? Should I go to parties, marriages, bars, discos? Match making sites seems to be a waste of money. Should I give an adv. in newspaper where parents are involved? I want to marry a girl who loves me and I love her most where our interests are common and shared. How can I find where to start from please email me quickly as I am confused.

All your socializing ideas seem okay except the bars and discos, as the ‘sweet natured’ girl you are looking for will definitely not be there. Matrimonial columns are not a bad idea, though it is important to check her credentials through some other known source.

It is important that you continue to interact in society and wait for your ’lady love’ to walk into your life. However, a compatible life-partner cannot and should not be found in a desperate hurry. Remember ~ ‘It is man who is always in a hurry, but God is always on time’.

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I am 29 years old married man. I have one child
Dr. Rajan B. Bhonsle, M.D. (Bom)
Consulting Sex Therapist & Counsellor
Dr. (Mrs.) Minnu R. Bhonsle, Ph.D.
Consulting Psychotherapist & Counsellor
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Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 20)You will be in a positive and aggressive frame of mind. Completing reports, preparing for meeting or seminar or exhibition, sale and purchase, are some of the activities of the day. You seem to be on the right track but watch out for a tendency to be overconfident. You will share moments of intimacy and togetherness with your beloved. If single and eligible you will now decide to settle down in matrimony.
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