Q: I am a 25 yrs old boy. I am getting married after 3 months. But due to masturbation since last 4 years, I have become too weak for sexual intercourse. I am afraid whether I will be able to have intercourse or not. Can you please help me in this regard?
A: Masturbation does not affect your sexual power or erectile ability. It is a harmless activity. Most boys discover masturbation in their teens and practice it frequently. It has no ill effects on one’s health or sexuality.
You seem to be experiencing a classical ‘performance anxiety’ that many men experience before marriage. Everyone experiences some level of performance anxiety in the first few attempts of intercourse. However, later on it diminishes. In the correct circumstances and in a relaxed environment, with an equally involved and responsive partner, you will be able to perform sexual intercourse.
Do visit a pre-marital counselling centre before getting married for sex education and complete clarity on this subject.
Writing on the wall
Q: I am in love with my brother-in-law’s sister. She is two years elder to me and she considers her family more important than me. I am sure she loves me too, but she doesn’t want to go against her parents wish. And her family members as well as my family members are against this relationship. I love her a lot and I can't live without her... what should I do?
A: There are too many things working against this relationship, the deal-breaker being that she does not feel as intensely about this relationship as you do. If she cared enough to stand up to her parents then it would have been different. But she has made it clear to you that she will not go against her parent’s wishes. Read the writing on the wall. The message is quite clear. Get on with your life. The love of your life is probably somewhere out there.