It is safe at 81
I am 81. I lost my wife about 12 years ago. I still have lots of sex desire. Ever since I lost my wife I have not had sexual intercourse with any woman. But occasionally I masturbate, discharge and thus relieve myself. Is it harmful at my age? I dread intercourse with any woman for fear of AIDS etc. Kindly advice.
Masturbation is physiologically harmless at all ages. It is a safe and simple method of relieving sexual tension. As long as you are capable and enjoying, you may continue to masturbate in your privacy maintaining proper hygiene. It is wise on your part to avoid intercourse, as it is true that there is always a risk of contracting HIV and/or other sexually transmitted infections in uncommitted, polygamous sexual encounters/relationships.
I rarely get an urge
I have been married for four years and don’t know if I am totally satisfied with sex. I very rarely get an urge to have sex and only when my husband wants to have sex, that’s when we have sex. Is it normal? Please let me know if there could be any reason behind it.
It is possible that due to inadequate or improper foreplay, you are not fully aroused before sex, and therefore do not experience complete satisfaction in your sexual encounters. When this repeatedly happens, you very naturally lose interest in sex and stop looking forward to it. There could also be an emotional component to your disinterest. If your emotional relationship with your husband is not satisfactory, you may not feel interested in sharing intimacy with him. I strongly advise both you and your husband to see a good sex counsellor who can educate both of you on the necessity of prolonged and satisfying foreplay, and make your husband aware of the needs of a woman. Along with this, if there is an emotional cause to your disinterest, then see a counsellor immediately to clarify matters and get to the root of the problem.
l Heart To Heart Counselling Centre runs Certificate courses in Counselling & Sex Education at 10 Jerbai Baug, Byculla (E), Mumbai-27. Tel: 22184528 / 9821093902. Email: [email protected] www.hearttoheartindia.net