26 Years
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Heart 2 Heart

Monday, November 07, 2011

Reveal your true feeling
I like a girl; she too likes me. But lots of friends played in between, lots have been said against me. Now she is not talking to me. I heard she is having another relationship. I want to bring her back and let her know the truth. Help me.

You say that a lot has been said against you because of which she has distanced herself from you. This is a good opportunity for you to grow as a person. First, introspect and see whether what has been said about you has any truth to it. If there is even a grain of truth, then feel grateful for it and use this opportunity to be a better person. And if after introspecting you find that there is no truth whatsoever in what has been said, then pat yourself on your back and live your life with confidence. In either case, speak to the girl after introspection and tell her the truth of the matter. Don’t hesitate. Simply go ahead and let your real feelings be known to her. This way you will never have to look back on your life and say to yourself, ‘I wish I had ....’! At the same time be emotionally prepared for either a Yes or a No. Do your best and then remember to leave the rest. If she is the one for you, she will understand and you-all can move on from there. If not, it is not the end of the road – there will be other travelers along the way, and anyway, this entire exercise will have left you a better and more mature person.

Pain after hysterectomy
I have enjoyed sex for 14 years. But in 1989 my wife underwent hysterectomy operation after which we cannot enjoy sex. Because if my penis penetrates even one inch she gets unbearable pain. We have also shown to a gynaecologist who had given her hormone tablets (premarin) and some gel to be applied (KY jelly). The tablets were taken for nearly four years but all in vain, nothing happened. Till date she gets unbearable pain and so we do not enjoy sex. My penis cannot penetrate even one inch. Under the above circumstances I would request you to give us some advice so that both of us can enjoy sex.
There are several possible causes of such a pain during penetration. She may not be adequately lubricated or wet, her pelvic muscles may be too tight or constricted, or then she might have an injury or an infection involving her vulva or vagina. This pain may or may not have anything to do with the hysterectomy surgery. I strongly recommend that until you find the cause of this pain you do not have intercourse again. If you continue to have intercourse in spite of pain, things will only get worse. What is a superficial physical problem will then become a deeper psychological one. Pain is like an alarm, which alerts you to investigating into the cause of the problem. She definitely needs to see a gynaecologist for a thorough physical examination.

Heart To Heart Counselling Centre,

10 Jerbai Baug, Byculla (E), Mumbai-27.
Tel: 23755866 / 23778624 / 22184528 / 9821093902 
Email: [email protected]

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Dr. Rajan B. Bhonsle, M.D. (Bom)
Consulting Sex Therapist & Counsellor
Dr. (Mrs.) Minnu R. Bhonsle, Ph.D.
Consulting Psychotherapist & Counsellor
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