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Heart 2 Heart

Friday, October 07, 2011

Sex and IUD
I am a mother of a three-month-old boy. He is my first child. My friend has advised me to use an IUD as a birth control method. What is an IUD? How does it work? How effective and safe is it? How to use it? Does it come in the way of enjoying sexual intercourse? Kindly guide.
An IUD (Intra-uterine device) is a small object made of plastic, copper or stainless steel. ‘Copper T’ is one such IUD that is shaped in the form of an alphabet “T”. Your doctor places it inside the uterus. The arms of the Copper T contain some copper, which stops fertilization by preventing sperms from making their way up through the uterus into the fallopian tubes. If fertilization does occur, the IUD would prevent the zygote (fertilized egg) from implanting in the lining of the uterus. The IUD can stay in your uterus for up to 2 to 10 years. The IUD is 90 - 99% effective at preventing conception. It requires visits with your doctor to have it inserted and to make sure you are not having any problems.

The upside is that once a doctor places it inside your uterus, you cannot feel it and can forget about it for 2 to 10 years. Moreover they are very cost-effective. The downside of IUDs is chances of pelvic infections, a higher risk of contracting STDs and excessive menstrual bleeding.
An IUD does not interfere in any manner in enjoying sexual intercourse as it is within the uterus and not in the vagina.

Evaluate the relationship
I am 32 and was averse to marriage until I fell in love for the first time one and half years ago. Both the families happily agreed and we have been going around normally. Suddenly my man seems to have stopped all contacts with me for over one month. This has brought tremendous tensions in both families. But despite all my attempts to contact him by mail or phone, he is not responding. His parents speak to me regularly but I am in deep agony and cannot accept that there’s suddenly no love left between us. Please advice.

Since we do not know much about this man in your life, we can only hazard a guess as to why he is behaving in this way. He is either in another more fulfilling relationship, or is facing a crisis of some kind (internal or external), or has a fear of intimacy or fear of commitment, or then has been repulsed by some behaviour on your part which you are unaware of and which he has left unexpressed. In either case, you deserve to know the reason, so that both of you can either work to resolve it or then gracefully part ways. He seems to be either scared of facing you for fear of your reaction or then he just does not know how to go about it. It is important that you somehow get a message through to him which clearly states that you need to know the reason for his withdrawal and that he owes an explanation to you. Also state that you are ready for the relationship to go either way, because you would anyway never be fulfilled if it was one-sided. Let him know that he need not fear an over-reaction on your part, and that if he so wanted you would be more than willing to work through any problem with him or then mutually agree to part ways. This message would serve to relax him if he is avoiding communication only out of fear and anxiety. If he does not respond to this message, then get a hold of yourself and move on. You deserve better.

Heart To Heart Counselling Centre,
10 Jerbai Baug, Byculla (E), Mumbai-27.
Tel: 23755866 / 23778624 / 22184528 / 9821093902 
Email: [email protected]

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Dr. Rajan B. Bhonsle, M.D. (Bom)
Consulting Sex Therapist & Counsellor
Dr. (Mrs.) Minnu R. Bhonsle, Ph.D.
Consulting Psychotherapist & Counsellor
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