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Heart 2 Heart

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Refractory Period
I am 27-year-old, happily married man. I am very faithful to my wife. I wish to know, how much time does it take for a healthy man to get a second good erection? And can it be as good as the first one? 
When a man is having sex, his ‘endorphin’ level shoots up. However, immediately after ejaculation, he goes through a ‘refractory phase’ in which he loses his erection and all his systems gear down. The refractory period varies from person to person. However, after the refractory period, which could be anywhere between twenty minutes to a few hours, one man can get an equally good erection once again. The level of second erection depends on the level of excitement and stimulation.

Status and Relationship

Last June, I met a girl at my computer institute and she turned out to be the younger sister of counsellor of the institute. I got her confidence and charming nature, got attracted to her, but could not express it due to difference in our class timings. So I somehow secured her mail id and expressed my feelings to her via e-mail. She accepted my friendship and replied to all my mails. But now that her course is over, she no longer visits the institute. Currently, she is out of town and hopefully should be back soon. Moreover, what bothers me is the difference in our status. Could you please help me in tackling the situation and face her?
I have no inkling of your age, but since you mention the computer institute, I presume that you are in the career-building phase of your life. You have also mentioned the difference in status. As far as having a friendship is concerned there seems to be no real problem as she has so far been responding positively to all your friendly overtures via e-mail. However, if you are thinking of a more seriously involved long-term relationship, then you need to focus on career-building very seriously. Remember, every relationship brings responsibilities with it. Your difference in status is very real and though money does not buy happiness, it is definitely a necessity in the real world. Therefore, you can continue your friendship, but start including your career plans in your conversations. Let her see that you are a responsible and mature person. If she has a liking for you, then such meaningful and responsible conversations could warm her up to the possibility of a long-term relationship with you, regardless of the current difference in status.

 Heart To Heart Counselling Centre,

10 Jerbai Baug, Byculla (E), Mumbai-27.
Tel: 23755866 / 23778624 / 22184528 / 9821093902 

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Dr. Rajan B. Bhonsle, M.D. (Bom)
Consulting Sex Therapist & Counsellor
Dr. (Mrs.) Minnu R. Bhonsle, Ph.D.
Consulting Psychotherapist & Counsellor
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