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Heart 2 heart

Friday, April 29, 2011

I am lost, confused, & hurt
My beau and me have been together for a year and a couple of months now. He was just recently locked up, got out, and now he’s stuck in Houston, TX. The whole point is I just recently found this box full of letters, not completely full—but enough to give me the things I had discovered before. He’s been with another girl, for a year as well. Now its all new to me, besides the fact I had an idea already. Him and this other girl were together on Aug. 4th (their anniversary). I know this because I found this card where she said so. Anyway, I mean I am so confused because I told him I loved him, and sure enough I do, but I mean not only did I find things with this girl but another girl who was thought to be pregnant, by him I AM SO LOST, CONFUSED, & HURT. I don’t know what I should do. Is there a way to mend our relationship...I mean can it turn out for the better...
‘Honesty’ and ‘genuineness’ is the hallmark of a good relationship. If he has not come clean on this other affair which was pretty serious from the way you put it, then don’t only walk out but run out of the relationship. You deserve much better. However, before you do that, you must convey to him in no uncertain terms, about how hurt you are feeling about the matter. It is necessary that you have an ‘emotional closure’ with him before you move on in your life. After doing that if you still feel stuck, then see a counsellor to work through your feelings.

Never got the chance to say those words
I am faced with a queer problem. Well I had an on-off relationship with a woman but never really got the chance to say those words. And now she was on the verge of getting along with someone else just when the stuff broke down. Do you think time is right for me to move in? If yes, how, because I won’t say the obvious upfront.

Well if you don’t say the words even now (which is presuming you still want to say them), when will you? At the same time you don’t want her getting into a relationship with you on the rebound.
Therefore, making your feelings known to her is as important as giving her time to be ready for another relationship. You could express your feelings and tell her that you would respect and understand if she needed to take some time before she responds to you in a Yes or a No.

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Dr. Rajan B. Bhonsle, M.D. (Bom)
Consulting Sex Therapist & Counsellor
Dr. (Mrs.) Minnu R. Bhonsle, Ph.D.
Consulting Psychotherapist & Counsellor
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