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Heart 2 Heart

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Am I frigid?
I am a 26-year-old married woman with one four-year-old daughter. My husband calls me “frigid” because I do not have as much sexual desire as him and I do not find the need to have intercourse as often as him. Am I really frigid?

The frequency of sexual desire varies from one person to the other. It also varies in different situations, circumstances and at different stages of our life. It is found very often the sexual desires of husband and wife do not match with each other. You simply seem to have a lower libido than your husband. Such a disparity is common and normal. That has nothing to do with you being ‘frigid’. Your husband probably does not know the correct meaning of the term ‘frigidity’. Frigidity is a complete and continuous lack of sexual desire and pleasure which is not so in your case.

Inappropriate Option
I am 28 and my husband is 32. We are married for the last 3 yrs but are not able to have successful sex as my husband doesn’t get enough erection for intercourse. I am very frustrated and desperate. I want a child, for this I think of having sex with my cousin. Please advice what can be the consequences of this with terms of my relation with my husband and getting infected with sexually transmitted disease?

I really wonder why having sex with your cousin has come up as a first option in solving your problem. Besides sexually transmitted diseases which you have correctly mentioned, there would be tremendous emotional repercussions if you were to indulge in such an act with your cousin. Is there more to your problem than not being able to have intercourse and conceive a child? If, like you say, inadequate erection is the only problem, then it can be easily rectified by a sex therapist. Waste no time. Consult a good sex therapist soon, and have a happy and satisfied life with your husband.

Heart To Heart Counselling Centre,
10 Jerbai Baug, Byculla (E), Mumbai-27.
Tel: 23755866 / 23778624 / 22184528 / 9821093902 

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Dr. (Mrs.) Minnu R. Bhonsle, Ph.D.
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