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Heart 2 Heart

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Sores Around The Labia
We are married for four years. I periodically develop painful sores around my labia. They heal on treatment but reappear after some time. I am sure we are faithful to each other. My husband does not have any problem. My PAP smear test done twice was normal. What do I do?

Having ‘rough sex’ without much foreplay and lubrication can contribute to sores around the labia. It could also be a fungal infection, or more seriously, even a sexually transmitted infection (STI). The most probable STI is genital herpes due to Herpes Simplex Virus (HSV). This infection (HSV) affects 1 out of every 5 sexually active people (20%) and can go untreated for a long time because the sores can come and go away often making it easy to overlook. It can also be transmitted to a sexual partner without having any symptoms at all. This can answer why your husband does not have any symptoms. As this infection can go for years without being noticed or treated, a person can also get it from previous partners and not even know it. The best thing to do is to get tested specifically for this infection. A ‘PAP smear’ will not detect this infection.. If you have already been tested for STDs including HSV recently and know that you don’t have any, then it is most likely a fungal infection or just sores from rough sex without adequate lubrication as stated before. However, definitely consult your doctor at your earliest.

Sharing The Same Dream
I am a 24-yr-old female. I have been married for the last six months. We had a great honeymoon. He loves me a lot even till date. But my problem is that I had a different picture of marriage… both of us living independently somewhere. Whereas, we are now living together with his parents. No doubt my in-laws are very good and loving but still I’m not satisfied. Please tell me the way out of my depression.

It is your dream to have your own ‘Home Sweet Home’, but it is important to know whether the same dream is shared by the partner. You have not mentioned your partner’s wishes and the circumstances (Is he very attached to his parents?, Is he the only child of ageing parents?, Are both of you financially capable to afford a house of your own ? ). You say that there are no problems with your in-laws — that is a blessing! If you continue to brood and resent your pleasant circumstances, you will have only yourself to blame for creating unhappiness in yourself and in your relationships at home. The place where you are just now (with your in-laws) can also be turned into a little heaven by developing a good rapport with your in-laws from your side. If and when the circumstances are conducive to have a place of your own, let it happen gracefully and let the shifting be pleasant. In the meantime, do all you can to make this your ‘Home Sweet Home’ and your room your little ‘love nest’.

Heart To Heart Counselling Centre,
10 Jerbai Baug, Byculla (E), Mumbai-27.
Tel: 23755866 / 23778624 / 22184528 / 9821093902 

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Dr. Rajan B. Bhonsle, M.D. (Bom)
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Dr. (Mrs.) Minnu R. Bhonsle, Ph.D.
Consulting Psychotherapist & Counsellor
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