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Thursday, March 17, 2011

Sexual pleasure and episiotomy
What is episiotomy? I am pregnant and my gynaecologist told me that she will perform episiotomy on me. Will this procedure have any effect on my sex life after delivery? How long after episiotomy,  will I be allowed to have sexual intercourse?

An episiotomy is a surgical cut (incision) made just before delivery in the muscular area between the vagina and the anus (the area called the perineum) to enlarge the vaginal opening to assist childbirth. The incision can be midline or at an angle from the posterior end of the vulva. It is performed under local anaesthesia and is sutured closed immediately after delivery. It is one of the most common surgical procedures performed during childbirth.
An episiotomy can sometimes result in a scar that is tender and therefore can make intercourse uncomfortable or even painful. However it does not happen in all episiotomies. It is not possible to predict which episiotomies will result in a painful scar. If there is a painful scar, it can often be successfully treated with another minor surgery.
It takes about six to eight weeks after episiotomy for a woman to heal completely. Sexual intercourse is permitted only after this period; that too after examining the status of the scar. Some gynaecologists believe that episiotomy helps to maintain vaginal tightness after delivery for  enhanced pleasure during intercourse for both the partners.

Is it possible to love two persons
I am in a fix. I have been happily married for four years now. However, I have not married my first love. I could not marry my first love as at that time I had lost faith that he loved me. Now call it fate, I met him again accidentally. He says he still loves me. He stays in a different town. Lately I have started missing him, thinking about him and even fantasising about him. Not that I do not love my husband. I have feelings for my husband too. Is it possible to love two persons at the same time? Should I be in touch with by boy friend through telephone or emails just as a friend?  I am perplexed. Help me.

You say that you had felt that your first love did not love you and therefore you broke up. Well, the affair ended there but probably your self-image could not take it. Your current feelings for your first love are nothing but a need to massage your injured pride. You want to feel that he cares for YOU. You need to re-define the meaning of love in order to live a meaningful life. True love is thinking of what you can give to your beloved. “It is in giving that you receive”. You say that you are happily married, so we presume that your physical and emotional needs are fulfilled in this relationship. In that case you seem to be taking your husband’s love for granted and are thinking only of yourself and what you want. Don’t you think that’s a wee bit selfish? As far as keeping in touch with your old flame is concerned we do not think it is a very good idea. You would be lying to yourself if you said that it is only for friendship. Try giving in love instead of receiving and you will find great joy and fulfilment in your married life. In case you are still unable to resolve your feelings and find clarity in your life, we would strongly suggest that you see a psychotherapist.

 Heart To Heart Counselling Centre,

10 Jerbai Baug, Byculla (E), Mumbai-27.
Tel: 23755866 / 23778624 / 22184528 / 9821093902 

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Sexual pleasure and episiotomy
Dr. Rajan B. Bhonsle, M.D. (Bom)
Consulting Sex Therapist & Counsellor
Dr. (Mrs.) Minnu R. Bhonsle, Ph.D.
Consulting Psychotherapist & Counsellor
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Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 20)A favorable meeting will lead to good things in the near future. Expenses on a family get-together are likely. A close relative will be in touch. A major achievement in your work or career will make you feel happy. In a personal relationship you may have to make the first move towards getting closer.
Tarot for Love
Select Sun sign:
Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 20)
Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 20)What the cards say: Be overboard and honest with your loved one Path: You can’t have your cake and eat it too. Don’t try to brush things under the carpet Ally: Earth sign Virgo will give you sound advice. Please stay away from Sagittarius who could encourage you to play with the truth Card of the week: Tarot key no. XV the Devil. Invites you to look at your weaknesses
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