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Heart 2 Heart

Monday, February 21, 2011

The way you feel is the way you behave
I am male, 41, married with 2 kids. Whenever I approach women to talk to, either regarding an official matter or non-official matter, they look little disturbed and adjust their saree over their blouses. This does not happen always, but happens many times. Does it mean that I am viewing them with some sort of hidden agenda? This has created a perpetual problem now that when ever I talk to women, sex is simply not on my mind. This assumption is purely involuntary. Can I simply ignore this, or is something wrong? Is it a given fact that many women normally adjust their saree when a male approaches them?

Unfortunately a vast majority of Indian minds are plagued with sexual repression. And the way you think is, the way you feel, is the way you behave. Do not give too much importance to the behaviuor in question. If as you say you do not have sex on your mind consciously, it should not concern you as to what they think about you. If you feel embarrassed then you are also becoming a victim of sexual repression. Just be your normal and natural self. Don’t let your normal human persona  be affected by a man-woman divide.

Law against sexual abuse
Now days a lot is spoken and written about sexual abuse. Does sexual abuse mean rape and intercourse or does it include just touching? Can one be punished by law for just touching?

Sexual abuse happens whenever a person’s sexual privacy is not respected. It is a verbal or physical behavior which has a significant sexual element, which is directed by one person towards another (of same or opposite gender), and which can significantly harm, upset, demean or injure the person towards whom it is directed.  It ranges from sending sexual messages to actual penetrative intercourse. Inappropriate touching, fondling, watching, talking, or being forced to look at another person’s sex organs are all forms of sexual abuse. It can also be verbal, visual, audio, or any other form which forces a person to participate in unwanted sexual contact or attention. All forms of sexual abuse are crimes and punishable by law as per the ‘Indian Penal Code (1860)’.

Heart To Heart Counselling Centre,

10 Jerbai Baug, Byculla (E), Mumbai-27.
Tel: 23755866 / 23778624 / 22184528 / 9821093902 

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The way you feel is the way you behave
Dr. Rajan B. Bhonsle, M.D. (Bom)
Consulting Sex Therapist & Counsellor
Dr. (Mrs.) Minnu R. Bhonsle, Ph.D.
Consulting Psychotherapist & Counsellor
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