Get Real
Q: I have been smitten by a married lady! I really am head over heels about her but I am not too sure whether to proceed ahead with the overtures. There is enormous attraction and equal amount of guilt because she is married! I am just going insane thinking about her. Please advice the right way.
A: This fantasy world of yours is sure to leave you more and more emotionally distraught as time goes on. Even if you proceed with her, still you will only be left psychologically de-stabilized. The best way is to get into other ‘real’, meaningful and fulfilling social relationships with your peer group in the ‘real’ world. Get busy with building a ‘real’ personal life, social life, creative life and professional life which satisfies you and you will soon start seeing this situation just as a passing phase of a growing man. The ‘right’ unattached person for you is sure to come along if only you make way for her in your heart.
Premature Ejaculation
Q: I am 23 years old. Whenever I see any porn movies or any exciting sexual scene, my penis ejaculates before getting even proper erection. Is this a kind of deficiency? I will be getting married by the end of this year.
A: What is happening with you is not a physical problem, but a “learning disability”. It is one form of “premature ejaculation”. There are no medical causes for premature ejaculation. It is essentially of a psycho-behavioral origin.
Ejaculating early is invariably a learned reflex response that can be effectively reconditioned when a man actively pursues learning ejaculation control during masturbation. You need to increase your awareness of the sensations of arousal building so that you can identify the level of your arousal. Secondly, awareness of sensations of arousal and ejaculatory control can be learned by a following a step-by-step process using techniques such as stop-start technique. Besides techniques, certain ‘exercises for sphincter control’ and ‘use of condom’ may help in some cases.