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Heart 2 Heart

Monday, October 25, 2010


History Need Not Repeat Itself
Q: My boyfriend and I have been going out a little over a month. He says he really likes me, and I really like him. He reminds me of my older brother. He has a similar temper, and it worries me because my brother has an assault charge, when he hit his wife. How can I be sure that he won’t hit me, if he loses his temper? Am I worrying over nothing, cause of the memories that haunt me of my older brother? He's 19 and I’m 18.
A: Firstly, history need not repeat itself i.e. your boyfriend need not behave like your brother as they are two different persons, But, one must learn from history and be aware i.e. see whether your boyfriend expresses his anger in socially acceptable ways or not. If there are signs of verbal abuse or even a push or a shove, then beware, this could be a sign for things to come – put an end to it immediately by asserting yourself with him; he must know that you will not stand for this. However, if he gets angry due to a difference of opinion, expresses it through words without humiliating you and attacking your self-worth, and sorts out the difference through communication, then he is normal and there is nothing to be concerned about. However, both of you are still young; understand each other better before you get serious about the relationship. 

Psychogenic Erectile Dysfunction
Q: I read your piece in masturbation few weeks ago. It was very pacifying. I can attain very good erection whenever I masturbate in my privacy, however when I attempted sexual intercourse with my fiancé last week, I could not achieve good erection and thus could not perform intercourse. Why did such a thing happen? I am deeply disturbed. Please guide.
A: It is a common occurrence. Sex before marriage is invariably associated with guilt, hesitation, fear and self-doubt. These feelings affect the erection (Psychogenic erectile dysfunction). Moreover, girls with a moral upbringing are invariably reluctant to indulge, or fail to actively participate in intercourse before marriage. Invariably, they agree for intercourse only under emotional compulsion and thus fail to give a free and spontaneous response during the act. The lack of response from the partner also affects one’s level of sexual excitement and subsequently the erection.


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