It hurts during intercourse!
I am a 23-year-old woman. Why does it hurt when I have normal sexual intercourse? I am not a virgin. I have had sex many times before but it hurts each time I do.
There are several possible causes for this pain. Your pelvic muscles may be extra tight (constricted), you may not be adequately aroused and lubricated at your vagina, your hymen may still be partially intact, or then you might have an injury or an infection involving your vulva and/or vagina.
We strongly recommend that you do not have intercourse again until the cause of this pain is found. If you continue to have intercourse in spite of pain, things may only get worse for you. What is a physical problem presently can become a psychological one. Pain is like an alarm, which alerts you to investigating into the cause of the problem. Do not abuse your body.
You may need to see a gynaecologist for a physical examination. Do not allow any doctor to dismiss the pain. Remember, it is not just in your head, nor will it just get better on its own!
Some assertiveness training
One of my colleagues keeps borrowing money from me and does not return it. The problem is she doesn’t ask for huge amounts but for small sums like Rs 100 or Rs 50 or sometimes even Rs 10. The problem is she keeps borrowing from me every other day. Now I don’t want to give her any more money but don’t know how to refuse her without spoiling relations at work.
What you need is some assertiveness training. You need to communicate to your friend in no uncertain terms about how you feel about the issue without making it sound accusatory e.g. You could say, “I feel troubled with your borrowing money periodically without returning it on your own. It is likely that it might be slipping your mind, however, it creates an uncomfortable situation if I have to keep an account of it and ask for it. I would prefer it if money did not enter our equation as colleagues, so that our relationship can be a more relaxed and comfortable one for both of us.” This communication is an effective yet non-hurtful way of putting forth your valid concern. In case, she takes offence to a constructive communication such as this, it would only demonstrate that she is unwilling to mend her ways, and yet wants to get away with being inconsiderate and insensitive to your feelings about the same. If she does in fact pout or throw an adult tantrum, tell yourself, ‘good riddance’, and go on with life, patting yourself on your back for learning assertiveness.