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Heart To Heart

Tuesday, February 19, 2019

Love life with baby around
We have a baby who will be two years next month. We make love when baby is asleep in the same room. Sometimes we keep the baby in another room. We need advise as how long we can make love with him in our room when he is asleep. We want to be careful as we plan to shift him into his room when he is around 4 till then he will be sleeping with us

It is important for both of you to be relaxed when you share intimacy with each other, and privacy is needed for such relaxation. As long as you are sure that your baby is fast asleep or in the other room you can be relaxed. It is quite okay till he/she is four as children of that age are not aware of sexual intimacy. So do not worry.

Testosterone and Premature Ejaculation
From my youth days, I have a problem of being over excited before sex. As a result, I either have shorter duration of intercourse or have premature ejaculation. I feel disgusted why can’t I have longer duration of intercourse? Is there any medicine that can be taken to bring testosterone level down (low) to control the sexual excitement that caused masturbation problem in my youth days and causing problem even now?

Masturbation does not cause premature ejaculation. What is happening with you is not a physical problem, but a learning disability. There are no medical or hormonal causes for premature ejaculation. It is essentially of a psycho-behavioral and relational origin. Testosterone or any other hormone has no effect on your ejaculatory control.

Ejaculating early is a learned reflex response that can be effectively re-conditioned when a man and a woman actively learn ejaculation control together.

You need to increase your awareness of the sensations of arousal building so that you can identify the level of your arousal. Secondly, awareness of sensations of arousal and ejaculatory control can be learned by following a step-by-step process. We teach the use of the ‘squeeze technique’ or the ‘stop-start technique’.

Besides techniques, certain ‘exercises for sphincter control’ and ‘use of condom’ may help in some cases.
 
God is always on time
I am handsome 5'7" male wheatish complexion, good well mannered sweet in nature, sexy, smart. I want to marry a girl of sweet nature. How should I find one of my choice? Should I go to parties, marriages, bars, discos? Match making sites seems to be a waste of money. Should I give an adv. in newspaper where parents are involved? I want to marry a girl who loves me and I love her most where our interests are common and shared. How can I find where to start from please email me quickly as I am confused.

All your socializing ideas seem okay except the bars and discos, as the ‘sweet natured’ girl you are looking for will definitely not be there. Matrimonial columns are not a bad idea, though it is important to check her credentials through some other known source.

It is important that you continue to interact in society and wait for your ’lady love’ to walk into your life. However, a compatible life-partner cannot and should not be found in a desperate hurry. Remember ~ ‘It is man who is always in a hurry, but God is always on time’.

Tightening of Vagina
I am a 20 yrs old female. My question is that as I have had sex 4 times due to this act my vagina has become very loose, which makes it impossible for my partner to satisfy me and everytime I’m left unsatisfied. Is there any way or medicine in which I can tighten my vagina as it used to be? Please help; and secondly doctor I’ve got very hard (stone like) breasts, is there any way in which I can make them soft?

You can tighten your vagina (your ‘PC muscles’) with simple exercises called “Kegels exercise” that you can do at home, at work or anywhere else.

Many women find it helpful to experiment when they are urinating to learn what muscles to tense and contract. While urinating, try to stop the flow of urine for a few seconds, and then release those muscles and let the urine flow again. Try that several times. This will help you to understand which muscles you need to exercise. Once you know which muscles to tense and relax, now you can do those exercises several times in a day wherever you are at home or even at work. It is best not to do these exercises too frequently while urinating, as in the long term it may not be good for the health of your urinary bladder. However, the trick to know the muscles while urinating mentioned above is a safe and effective way of discovering which muscles to target.

Get your breasts examined by a gynecologist or a surgeon. It will also be worthwhile to get a “mammography” done to understand the cause of this stone-like hardness of your breasts.

Hesitation towards Sex
I am 27 year old businessman. I am married for eight months. My wife is 23 year old. When I make love to my wife she has hesitation in expressing her feelings during the act. She also refuses for foreplay. Kindly help me to overcome this problem.

Your wife’s hesitation could come from her conditioning, upbringing, notions about sex, religious ideas or sheer stubbornness. In spite of all these factors, it is the love and understanding between the husband and wife that moulds her attitude towards sex. If sex is merely an exercise for physical gratification, then it loses its importance for the person who is basically heart oriented. Don’t make sex a mechanical activity. Remember, her requirements are more heart oriented. Women feel aroused only when they love the man.

A husband-wife relationship should have a strong foundation of love, understanding and caring about each other. Once this is achieved, sex will follow naturally as an expression of your love for each other.

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