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Heart To Heart

Monday, April 30, 2018

Vaginal discharge
I am  a 17-year-old junior college girl. I wish to know about the ‘vaginal discharge’ that I notice from time to time. Some people say it is normal, some say it is a sign of fungus or infection. I am confused. Kindly clarify.

Most adolescent girls get a sticky, white discharge from their vagina. This is a perfectly normal and healthy sign that the pubertal changes have begun in you. Sometimes, this discharge can get on a girl's underwear.

It is good to pay close attention to your normal discharge and how it changes during your monthly cycle so that you can recognize any unusual signs or changes. If you closely pay attention, you will notice that the discharge is not always the same. Sometimes it may be clear while at other times it may be a bit whitish. When you are ovulating, it may become clear and slippery. A female's vaginal fluids/discharge also alter when she gets sexually aroused.

If the discharge becomes thicker or heavier, changes colour to yellow, green, rusty or brown, or causes burning or itching in the private parts, it is suggestive of an infection. Foul-smelling discharge, and pain or bleeding in the vagina when you are not in your menstrual period, are also signs of infection. If you experience any of these changes, you will need to see a doctor.

Best sexual posture for maximum pleasure
What is the most common sexual position that married couples use during intercourse? Which is the best position for maximum pleasure for both husband and wife?
There are several different sexual positions that a couple can choose to use. The most prevalent one is known as the “missionary position”, where the male partner is on top of the female partner, with face-to-face interaction. Female superior or Woman-on-top is the second most preferred sexual position.

Each sexual position facilitates an exclusive opportunity to couple for physical and emotional expression. Matters such as mood, health, body weight, age, and pregnancy can determine which position will be the most preferred one at a particular instant. Stimulation of the clitoris during intercourse is easier with the female-superior (woman-on-top) position, either sitting upright or inclining off to the left or right. Woman-on-top position also facilitates the woman to be ‘active’ whereby it is easier for her to reach to her own orgasm. A lot of couples prefer a more intimate and relaxed interaction with the face-to-face, side-by-side position, allowing each partner to have a free hand to caress the other's body. For pregnant women, the ‘spoon position’ is often more comfortable, relieving pressure from her abdomen during intercourse. So most people experiment with many positions to decide what they find most desirable.

Menstrual pains and sex
Is it true that sex cures menstrual pains? Does sex during menstruation have anything to do with developing and/or contracting STDs (Sexually Transmitted Diseases)?

There is no truth what so ever to the rumour that sexual intercourse cures menstrual pains. On the contrary, intercourse during menstruation can heighten the risks of contracting sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), including HIV/AIDS. Menstrual blood is a very rich medium in which micro-organisms can grow very rapidly.

If a menstruating female has sexual intercourse with a male who is infected with an STD, she is more likely to get infected than during other times of her monthly cycle. In addition, she is likely to get a more severe infection when she is menstruating. This is because the mouth of the uterus (cervix) is wider than usual at this time so that the menstrual blood can flow out easily. The micro-organisms of STD can travel up into the uterus and fallopian tubes and can cause an infection high up in the female reproductive system. This can result in infertility.

For the male, having sexual intercourse with a menstruating female is also very risky. If she is infected with HIV, her menstrual blood will be very rich in viruses (HIV).

Choice of life partner
My parents are pressuring me to get married to a guy they have chosen. But I don’t like the guy and find him creepy. But the problem is that they have been trying to find a match for me since last few months, none of which worked out. So they think if they let go of this guy, I will not find a better match, because he is educated, earns a lot of money and is well-settled. But the thing is I really don’t think he is my type. I have met him a couple of times and haven’t liked his thinking. What should I do?

You owe it to yourself, the guy and your parents that you are completely honest about how you feel about this match. Communicate to your parents that while you understand their concerns over your marriage, it is equally important that you do not merely marry out of a sense of guilt over their concerns. We are sure your parents do not want you to be unhappily married, or then have a broken marriage if things do not work. Communicating the same to them might help them see the light.

On your part, it is important that since you are open to an arranged match, you give yourself and the guy (this guy or any other guy) adequate opportunity to know each other before concluding about compatibility.  Today it is easy to communicate via e-mail in order to understand views of each other on various issues. It is only after sufficient communication on relevant matters that one can truly assess compatibility. If you have sufficient evidence to point out incompatibility with the present guy, share it with your parents in a mature way, and point out those areas where things could go wrong for both of you.

If they truly care for your sustained happiness they will step back and look for a more compatible match.

Heart To Heart Counselling Centre runs Certificate courses in Counselling & Sex Education at 10 Jerbai Baug, Byculla (E), Mumbai-27.
Tel: 23755866 / 9821093902.

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