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Heart To Heart

Monday, March 19, 2018

I am embarrassed!
My sex organ becomes hard very often nowadays and when I am outside the house I feel embarrassed. Why is this happening so often to me?  

Normally the penis is soft and hangs down. During an erection, more blood flows into the penis than usual and less blood flows out. This makes the penis become larger and harder and it stands out from the body. An erect penis usually curves upwards slightly and it may curve to one side. All this is normal.
An erection can happen when the penis is touched or caressed, or when you are excited by a sexual thought or by the sight of someone you find sexually attractive. Rarely, erections can also be caused by anxiety and stress. It is also very common for boys to wake up with an erection in the morning. While you are asleep at night, your penis will probably become erect and then go down about five to seven times. This is completely normal and healthy.

Erections occur in males of all ages, including babies and old men. Sometimes boys worry that they are having too many erections. They are disturbed by very frequent erections in class, on the bus or when they are walking. Sometimes there seems to be an obvious reason for the erection. Maybe you are sitting next to someone you find attractive. At other times, however, erections may come for no reason at all.

Please do not worry. You are merely normal, healthy and full of hormones. It can be embarassing if you get an erection in class or in a public place, but most of the time you are probably the only person who is aware of it.

Sometimes boys think that they must have sex to control these erections. This is not true! It is only a myth that some boys pass around as an excuse for having sex. Having erections is not a sign that you need to have sex.

The way you feel is the way you behave
I am male, 41, married with 2 kids. Whenever I approach women for talking, either Official matter or non - official matter, they look little disturbed (embarrassed) and adjust their saree over their blouse. This does not happen always but many times. Does it mean that I look slang? This has created a perpetual problem now that when ever I talk to women, I TEND TO assume that I mean sex. This assumption is purely involuntary. Can I simply ignore this, or is something wrong? This given the fact that many women in our country normally adjust their saree when male approaches them - due to shyness or social taboo. Pls advise.

Unfortunately a vast majority of Indian minds are plagued with sexual repression. And the way you think is the way you feel is the way you behave. Do not give too much importance to the behavior in question. If as you say you do not have sex in your mind consciously, it should not concern you as to what they think about you. If you feel embarrassed then you are also becoming a victim of sexual repression. Just be your normal and natural self. Don’t let your normal human relating be affected by a man-woman divide.

Sex and law
Now days a lot is spoken and written about sexual abuse. Does sexual abuse mean rape and intercourse or does it include just touching? Can one be punished by law for just touching?

Sexual abuse happens whenever a person's sexual privacy is not respected. It is a verbal or physical behavior which has a significant sexual element, which is directed by one person towards another (of same or opposite gender), and which can significantly harm, upset, demean or injure the person towards whom it is directed.  It ranges from sending sexual messages to actual penetrative intercourse. Inappropriate touching, fondling, watching, talking, or being forced to look at another person's sex organs are all forms of sexual abuse. It can also be verbal, visual, audio, or any other form which forces a person to participate in unwanted sexual contact or attention. All forms of sexual abuse are crimes and punishable by law as per the “Indian Penal Code (1860)”.

Peyronie disease
I am a 22-year-old unmarried man. My penis is curved towards the left. I read in a magazine that this is known as Peyronie disease. Will this curvature cause any problem during intercourse?  Is there anyway to correct it? I am too concerned about this problem.

Penises come in different sizes and shapes. If a penis has always been curved, it could be just a variation of normal. Men are often sensitive about this subject, but I assure you, it is functionally nothing to worry about. Women mostly care about affection, attentiveness, communication and a gentle foreplay. Therefore, the size and shape are not decisive factors affecting sexual satisfaction for most of the women.

If a penis is curving gradually as time progresses, it could be due to Peyronie’s Disease. Peyronie's disease (also known as plastic induration of the penis or fibrous cavernositis), first described by French doctor Francois de la Peyronie in 1743, is characterized by the formation of a plaque or hardened scar tissue (fibrosis) beneath the skin of the penis that causes pain, curvature, and distortion, usually during erection. For patients with Peyronie’s disease treatment options are limited. The goal of treatment is to maintain sexual function and reduce pain.

Growth of a beard & moustache
I am 21 years old but still do not have complete beard. Often people treat me as adolescent which underestimates me. Is it due to lack of secretion of hormones or any problem associated with reproductory organs? Please guide.

Growth of a beard or moustache may be delayed in some men. If other secondary sexual characteristics have developed normally, such as growth of pubic hair and hair in the armpits or growth of the genitals, and if the body structure has developed like a man, there is no reason to worry. You may get your ‘Serum Testosterone’ level checked. If it is normal, do not worry. Growth of a beard and moustache also depends on your hereditary pattern and may be delayed as a variation of normal.

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