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On Bended Knee

Thursday, October 12, 2017

Popping the question isn’t something you do on the spur of the moment. You need to have a plan in order to get it absolutely perfect. Komal Soni chalks one out for you

It’s not every day that you meet the person of your dreams, someone who challenges you mentally, soothes you emotionally and appeals to you physically — your better half in every way. So, now it’s time to pop the most important question of all, the answer to which will change both your lives. There’s a lot resting on it and you get only one chance to do it right. Are you prepared? This is what you need to have in place before you get down on one knee.

The right ring

Finding the perfect ring should be the first thing on your to-do list. (Obviously!) And, there are many things to consider, the most important of which is your partner’s taste in jewellery. Is she the modest or the blingy kind? Would she like several small stones set in a pattern or just one large spectacular stone? Whatever her preference, you’re going to have to pick wisely.

If you see something that you’re certain will bowl her over, then snag it before someone else does. If, however, you are even a tiny bit uncertain, approach her best friend, her sister or the family member she’s closest to for help.

Your girlfriend’s ring size is another thing you’re going to need to know before you head to a jeweller. Take one of her rings from her jewellery drawer — inconspicuously, of course — with you to be sure.

Parents’ approval

One thing you might want to do before you buy the ring is to get consent from your lady-love’s folks, because no matter how liberal, most Indian girls would still prefer their parents’ approval before taking the big step. And she’ll value you that much more if you’ve already made the effort to get their approval (so that she doesn’t have to do it on her own).

The perfect location

The spot where you decide to pop this life-altering question must be just right if you are to make it a truly memorable experience. Is your girl the outdoorsy type or the flowers-and-candlelit-dinner type? Does she have a favourite holiday spot? Take all of this into account before zeroing in on the location.

And be inventive. So, if she likes the outdoors, you could pop the question at the end of a satisfying hike or on a boat ride in the middle of the sea. Cook her a scrumptious meal or book a table at the restaurant at which you enjoyed your first date… book the same table, if possible! She will definitely appreciate it if she is a romantic at heart.

A good photographer

This moment is going to be part of your love story forever, so you must ensure that you capture it for future reminiscing. If you are at a restaurant, you could ask the manager to place a staff member at a discreet distance, ready to take pictures at your signal. Or you could hire a professional photographer too.

At home, you could set up your camera and position it in such a way that it films the priceless event as it unfolds. Make sure to do this when she is not around; you don’t want to tip her off! You will pat yourself on the back for planning ahead when the two of you flip through the pictures in the future.

Words that wow

What you say is as important as, if not more than, where you decide to say it. It’s okay to be nervous — and some girls may even find that charming — as long as you don’t turn the proposal into a cliché of worn phrases.

If you want her to truly feel special, aim for a proposal that’s straight from the heart. Tell her all the things that you really love about her, no matter how goofy. Enlist the qualities that you think make the two of you good together and paint a picture of your life together.

Or tell her about that moment when you first realised that you loved her and wanted to spend the rest of your life with her. You will need to gather your thoughts so that you don’t freeze at the last minute. But remember to keep it genuine. 

Friends and family

If your girlfriend comes from a close-knit family or if she has a tight bunch of friends whom she holds dear, consider including them in the proposal. Make sure that they are all available at the time and day of your choosing before you finalise the plan. But, warn them to keep the details to themselves. You don’t want to spoil the surprise.

Organise the evening in such a way that they are close at hand but not actually present when you pop the question. That’s a moment you may want to savour in private. Have them join you and your sweetheart as soon as she says yes (and you’ve jumped for joy), so that she can share this precious moment with the people she cherishes the most… other than you, of course.


If you’re looking for quirky ways to surprise her, consider these innovative proposal ideas:

  • Spell out ‘Marry me’ or ‘Will you marry me?’ during a game of scrabble.
  • Slip the box with the ring into her purse, then pretend to have left your wallet at home when the bill arrives.
  • Tie the ring to the sash or strap of a new dress that you’ve just bought her.
  • Encase the ring in a fortune cookie specially baked for the purpose.
  • String the ring around her favourite bottle of perfume.
  • Present her with a T-shirt with the words ‘Will you marry me?’ or ‘Marry me’ emblazoned upon it.
  • Film yourself asking the question and add it to the end credits of her favourite film or TV series. Then watch it together.
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