Afternoon D & C Dedicated To Mumbai
Home > Education & Career > "Correct values" to teach your kids this Christmas

"Correct values" to teach your kids this Christmas

Wednesday, December 26, 2018
By A Staff Reporter

It is Christmas time, a time for celebration, familial bonding, and spreading love. It is also a period where traditional values are celebrated. Should we however, blindly swallow ALL that is espoused in the name of ‘values’? Perhaps the holiday season is also an opportunity to step back, and question some of the morality we inherit in the name of ‘tradition’! Especially when it concerns the mostly disparate treatment of the male child vs the female child, India, despite various programs by the government, and other powerful movements such as the ‘me too’ movement; it could be argued, remains a largely male-biased society.

To get some perspective on this, writer & educator Kartik Bajoria opines about his thoughts on the subject. What about the ‘values’ we are bringing up our children with? And how do we raise a young generation that is free of gender biases? Kartik says that “I realized very early on in life that there are deep rooted, euphemistically called 'traditional values' associated with the sexes. I've heard within my own larger family things said such as men can't cry, business ladies-log ka kaam nahi hai, a son is a son, oh God that gay is abnormal and countless other scandalous, morally repugnant statements. Telling testimony to the fatal misgivings of generational gender-biases.” If these are indeed the kinds of conversations that young children are privy to in their homes, it is no surprise that they grow up embodying these biases!

Kartik adds, “In my pre-teens and teens, I was studying in an overtly testosterone-infused environment at boarding school where 'men meant business'. They could not 'tend the garden' so to speak because that would be met with terse criticism and immediate, ignorant labelling. oh he must be gay. Not that I am in the least bit offended - but hello, you have identified my sexual orientation based on a superficial-assumption, that is bed-rocked in years of subliminal, and often times overt patriarchy!”

When asked about what he has done, or can do as a Parent & Teacher to alleviate this situation, he says, “Through my own personal experiences, I have come to identify myself as a gender-equalist. A gender-libertarian if you will. Because my issue is not with any particular sex or sexual orientation. My plea is that the world should allow each individual to first be the most beloved versions of themselves. To allow men, women, and the queer to explore, express and articulate their lives in whichever way each individual wants to fashion it, without bias, judgment, fear, or prejudice.”

Solutions to these kinds of problems that have developed as a consequence of generational morality cannot be undone in one swift stroke. It will take time. For young parents though, this presents a unique chance to make a new, fresh beginning. To correct the mistakes of the past. To set the record straight. Of things that can be done by new-parents in this regard Kartik says, “Kids follow examples set for them at home. If they see, first and foremost, both parents respecting each other equally, a father genuinely respecting the mother, treating her like an equal, that is what the child will imbibe. Second, parents should always make it a point to subtly message children with a sound, equal gender morality. This can be done in several ways, from selecting books/stories that champion this cause, by showing and sharing films that speak to equal rights. Most importantly however, especially in families where there are children of both genders, they must be treated absolutely equally. You can’t for instance have a scenario where the male child is being sent abroad for higher studies and the girl child not being extended that privilege.”

The holidays, Christmas and New Year time is when parents naturally spend quality time with their children. Kartik feels that it is the RIGHT time to make amends for past mistakes. “Now, as the father of an 19 month young baby girl, I dream of this gender-equal world more than ever. I DO NOT wish for my child to be surrounded by bias of ANY kind. Seems like a piped dream but one can certainly work towards it. And perhaps there is no better time than this holiday season to start.”

No Comments Posted
City news
Focus on Agriculture, Jobs, Infrastructure and Di
Under flak for scrapping internal assessment mark
In an interesting case, the Communist Party of ...
I am really very uneasy and disturbed. I started
Dr. Rajan B. Bhonsle, M.D. (Bom)
Consulting Sex Therapist & Counsellor
Dr. (Mrs.) Minnu R. Bhonsle, Ph.D.
Consulting Psychotherapist & Counsellor
Select Sun sign:
Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 20)
Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 20)You are likely to remain careful and watchful today, foretells Ganesha. And because you'll be invited to parties and other social events, your enthusiasm will remain buoyant. You will also strike the right balance between business and pleasure, says Ganesha.
- Advertising -
Recently, Madurai High Court Bench expressed alar
The development of transportation and telecommuni
A national campaign to touch-base with 50,000 rur
Read More