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The UP fiasco and my neighbour...!

Saturday, January 07, 2017
By Robert Clements

I looked out of my window this morning and was surprised to see my neighbor pacing up and down, “Waiting for the milkman?” I asked politely.

“Paperman!” he whispered. “I don’t want my son to see the newspaper!”

“Look!” I said kindly, “Maybe you need to go back to bed and rest awhile!”

“That’s what poor Mulayam did and see what happened?”

“Mulayam?” I asked a little flabbergasted but found my neighbor was again listening intently to the sound of tires coming down the road. “It is the paperman!” shouted my neighbor as he raced to the gate, and hurriedly tried to beckon the man not to throw the newspaper onto the doorstep but to give it to him, but the paperman threw the newspaper onto the porch and my neighbor’s son caught the newspaper and ran away.

“I am finished! I am finished!” shouted my neighbor as he tried to chase his son.

“Listen!” I shouted, “You will kill yourself with your exertion!”

The fiasco ended with my neighbour’s pajama’s nearly falling off as his son stood at a distance jumping up and down with the paper.

“He must have already read the news!” whispered my neighbor, “Look at his face, there is no gratitude for his father. I have been trying to prevent him from seeing the UP news, but today he too quick for me.”

“I don’t think he knows how to read!” I said, “He’s only four!”

“They learn fast!” whispered my neighbor.

“Exchange! Exchange!” the little boy shouted. “I will give you your paper if you will give me something in return!”

“What do you want?” asked his father grimacing as he tried to get up from his fall.

“Cycle!” shouted the little fellow, “I want a cycle!”

I watched as my neighbor swooned and went into a faint. It took his wife and me several minutes to revive him and make him sit up. His little son was crying in a corner, he had never seen his dad so sick. “What did he say that made you faint?” I asked as my neighbor opened his eyes.

“Didn’t I tell you that the UP father son fight would influence our sons?” whispered my neighbor as he pulled the newspaper and pointed the caption to me, “Mulayam and Akhilesh stake claim to ‘bicycle’ symbol’ the headline read.

“It’s creating havoc!” wept my neighbor as he fell into another dead faint.

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