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Secret of remaining happy and married

Wednesday, February 06, 2019
By Osho

It is impossible! It has never happened -- it cannot happen in the very nature of things. Marriage is something against nature. Marriage is an imposition, an invention of man -- certainly out of necessity, but now even that necessity is out of date. It was a necessary evil in the past, but now it can be dropped. And it should be dropped: man has suffered enough for it, more than enough. It is an ugly institution for the simple reason that love cannot be legalized. Love and law are contradictory phenomena.

Marriage is an effort to legalize love. It is out of fear. It is thinking about the future, about the tomorrows. Man always thinks of the past and the future, and because of this constant thinking about past and future, he destroys the present. And the present is the only reality there is. One has to live in the present. The past has to die and has to be allowed to die.

The really intelligent person never looks back; he never bothers about the past -- that which is finished is finished forever. And he never thinks of the future either because that which has not come yet has not come yet. And he knows that whenever it comes, he will be capable of responding to it, so why ponder over it? Why make ready-made answers to questions which have not even arisen? And all your ready-made answers are going to be irrelevant because life goes on changing. Life remains always a surprise; it is unpredictable.

But man thinks that he is being very clever by preparing for the future. You love a woman, you love a man, but what about the future? Tomorrow the woman may fall in love with somebody else. If she can fall in love even with you, why can she not fall in love with somebody else? Whether love remains or not, at least you will have the physiology of the woman. You are not much concerned with her soul -- because law cannot restrain the soul, but law can create barriers for the body; the body is not beyond its reach. Law can control her; law can condemn her, can punish her in many ways.

And another thing: not only are you afraid of the woman, you are afraid of yourself too. If you can fall in love with this woman, you can fall in love with somebody else. You know that your mind is constantly thinking of other women. You know there is every possibility that tomorrow you may lose interest in this woman; in fact it is almost a certainty, not just a possibility, not just a probability. And then you are afraid of yourself. You may escape, you may run.

And you want to cling because this woman is taking care of you. She has been a comfort to you, she has been a consolation in your life, she has been in many ways a mother to you, a nourishment. You are afraid to betray her. You are afraid of your own mind, of your own unconscious; it can take you anywhere.

And you have promised her that you will never leave her, that you will always love her, that you will love her forever, life after life. You are afraid of breaking your promises. Your ego feels that to break those promises will mean only one thing: that you will never be able to forgive yourself. It will remain a heavy weight on you, it will create guilt for you.

And the same is the situation from the side of the woman. Hence it has been a necessary evil, and men and women have agreed to plan for the future. Afraid of themselves they have taken support from the law, from the society, from conventions, from respectability. They have created a thousand and one barriers around themselves so that they remain together.

By the time their love starts dying they die, because life is love. But love is not law, life is not law Life is not logic, love is not logic. Hence I don't see that with the coming age, with the new maturity that man is attaining, marriage can exist anymore in the same old way.

Excerpted from Tao The Golden Gate/Osho Times International/Courtesy Osho International Foundation/
www.osho.com

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