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Love thrives in insecurity

Wednesday, May 16, 2018

No relationship can be secure. It is not the nature of relationships to be secure. And if any relationship is secure, it will lose all attraction. If you want to enjoy a relationship, it has to be insecure. If you make it completely and absolutely secure then you cannot enjoy it; it loses all charm, all attraction.

The mind cannot be satisfied with either this or that, so it is always in conflict and chaos. It wants a relationship which is alive and secure. This is impossible, because an alive person or an alive relationship – or anything which is alive – has to be unpredictable. What is going to happen in the next moment cannot be forecast. And because it is unpredictable, this moment becomes intense.

You have to live this moment as totally as possible because the next moment may never come. You may not be there; the other may not be there. Or you may both be there, but the relationship is not. All possibilities remain open. The future always remains open; the past is always closed. And in between the two is the present, a single moment of present, always trembling, shaking. This is how life is. The shaking and the trembling are part of being alive – the hesitation, the cloudiness, the vagueness.

The past is closed. Everything has happened and now nothing can be changed, so everything is absolutely closed. The future is absolutely open; nothing can be predicted. And between the two is the present, with one step in the past, one in the future. So the mind always remains in a dichotomy, in a divided state. It is always split; it is always schizophrenic.

The understanding that is needed is that this is how things are and nothing can be done about it. If you want to have a very secure relationship, then you will have to love a dead man; but then you will not enjoy it. That's what happens to a lover when he becomes a husband: a husband is a dead lover, a wife is a dead lover. The past has become all, and now the past decides the future.

In fact if you are a wife you don't have a future; the past will go on repeating itself, all the doors are closed. If you are a husband then you don't have a future; then you are confined, in an imprisonment.

You continuously seek security but when you find it, you get fed up with it. Look at the faces of husbands and wives. They have found security – much sought after security – and now everything is in their bank balance, and the law and the court and the constable are all there to make everything secure. But now the whole charm, the whole poetry, is lost; romance is no longer there. Now they are dead people, they are simply repeating the past; they live in memories.

Listen to wives and husbands talking. The wife goes on saying that the husband doesn't love her as he used to, and they go on talking about past moments – their honeymoon and other things. What nonsense! You are still alive. This moment can be a honeymoon! This moment can be lived, but you are talking of the past, trying to repeat it.

Security never satisfies, and in insecurity there is fear – fear that the relationship can be lost. But that is part of being alive. Everything can be lost, nothing is certain – that's why everything is so beautiful. And that's why you need not postpone for a single moment.

If you want to love a person, love him here and now. Love him, because nobody knows what is going to happen in the next moment.

Life is uncertain. No one can make it certain; there is no way to make it certain. And it is good that nobody can make it certain, otherwise it would be dead. Life is fragile, delicate, always moving into the unknown – that's its beauty.

One needs to be courageous, adventurous. One needs to be a gambler to move with life – so be a gambler.

Abridged Hammer on the Rock/ Osho Times International/copyright Osho International Foundation/

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